This tool will guide you in preparing for a sensitive conversation. The goal is not to "win," but to speak your truth clearly and kindly, creating the best possible chance for connection and understanding.
What is the best possible outcome you hope for? Focus on connection, not control. This intention will guide you through the entire conversation.
Describe the specific, factual event without judgment or blame. Stick to what you can observe, like a camera recording. Use "When..." language.
Connect the observation to your emotion. Use "I feel..." to take ownership. Avoid "I feel like you..." or "I feel that..." - those are thoughts, not feelings.
What core need is not being met? This is the "why" behind your feeling. Needs are universal human desires like respect, connection, support, or autonomy.
What is one specific, positive, and actionable thing you would like? Avoid vague requests like "be more present." Instead, ask for concrete actions.
How you say it matters as much as what you say. Select the tone that best fits your intention and the nature of your relationship.
How will you respond if they say no or react negatively? This is your boundary. Having a plan helps you stay calm and centered.
Practice this script out loud several times. Feel the words in your body. Notice where you tense up. Breathe. You are ready to speak your truth with grace and courage.