Digital Balance Toolkit

📜 Family Tech Agreement

A living document, co-created with love and respect, to guide our family's digital life.

Our Core Values

The Sacred Spaces (Tech-Free Zones)

Time & Transitions

Safety & Privacy

Consequences & Second Chances

Signatures

By signing, we agree to uphold these values and rules, and to revisit this agreement together on:

Parent(s):

Teen(s):

🛂 App Visa Application

To be completed before downloading a new app. Please be thoughtful and honest.

App Name:

1. What gift does this app give you?

(How does it help you connect, create, or learn?)

2. What risks could this app bring to us?

(Consider privacy, content, time spent, or how it could affect your mood.)

Thank you for your thoughtful application. We will review this and give you a respectful answer within 24 hours.

📅 6-Month Implementation Plan

Sustainable change is slow change. Track your progress one month at a time.

Month 1: Foundation - Sleep & Connection

Devices charge outside bedrooms at night.

Everyone, including parents!

One daily screen-free connection ritual established.

e.g., Family dinner, bedtime check-in.

Month 2: Structure - Time Boundaries

Daily screen time limits are set and enforced.

Use built-in tools like Screen Time or Family Link.

One additional screen-free zone is created.

e.g., No phones in the car, or Sunday mornings.

Month 3: Safety - Parental Controls

Platform safety settings are activated (together).

e.g., Instagram Family Center, TikTok Family Pairing.

The "App Visa Program" is in effect for new apps.

All new apps require review and permission.

Month 4: Collaboration - The Agreement

Held a family meeting to co-create the agreement.

The official Family Tech Agreement is signed and posted.

Month 5: Culture - Values & Wisdom

Weekly digital literacy conversations are happening.

e.g., Talk about app design, misinformation, etc.

Family values are posted near charging stations.

Month 6: Sustainability - Rituals & Review

Held our first Monthly Digital Sabbath.

A full day screen-free, filled with offline joy.

First quarterly review of the agreement is on the calendar.

💬 Scripts for Hard Conversations

A quick-reference guide for when you're feeling stuck, angry, or overwhelmed.

When You Need to Buy Time (to regulate yourself):

"That's a big question. Let me think about it and we'll talk at [specific time]. I promise I'll get back to you."

When They Say "You Don't Trust Me":

"It's not about not trusting you—it's about my job to keep you safe while you're still learning to navigate a complex world. Trust is something we build together over time."

When You've Made a Mistake (Model Repair):

"I need to apologize. I [yelled/overreacted] earlier, and that wasn't fair to you. Can we try that conversation again?"

When They're Melting Down (Validate & Hold):

"I know it's really frustrating that screen time is over. I get it. And, the rule is the rule. The game is still off."

When They Confess a Mistake (Praise Honesty First):

"Thank you for telling me. That must have been hard to do, and I am so proud of you for coming to me. We will figure this out together."